Mama's Rules?

[mbarker]

One of the Japanese TV shows recently had a short piece talking about "Mama's Rules" where mama is a retired professional wrestler (now turned TV talent). She has two boys -- one in 6th grade, one in 1st grade. I didn't catch all four of the rules, but here are two.

First, one of the boys announced that he wanted to try kickboxing. The other, of course, also decided that he wanted to do it. The rule? If you start this, you have to commit to doing it for six years. Are you sure you want to do it? She challenged both of the boys with the "six-year rule." In this case, both said yes, they really did want to do it.

My snap analysis -- I'm not sure how she enforces the six years commitment, but making the kids think about doing something for an extended period is a good idea. And six years is a time-span that they both can grasp, since that's just about the difference in their ages (and as long as the younger one has been alive, I think?).

Second, they get allowances. The younger one gets 1,100 yen, the older 1,500 yen (a week, I think). She explained that this grew out of the common shopping problem of the boys wanting ice cream, candy, toys, etc. So she gives them an allowance, and when they are shopping, if one of them decides that he wants a candy bar, she says sure -- as long as you buy it with your own money. According to her, both of the boys usually decide to skip the candy bar and save their money.

Again, snap analysis -- good move. The earlier that we start learning responsibility, the better, and this gives them a concrete measure of control of their own lives. Nice idea.

What I think I like best about both of these is that her rules put the control in the kid's hands. You want to try a sport or something? Fine, but you have to make a commitment. You want candy or something? Fine, but you have to buy it with your own money. And it seems as if she's looking at situations that she runs into with the kids and working out sensible approaches, instead of just doing snap responses. Good thinking!

Comments

[avaenuha.livejournal.com]

I agree about the candy thing, not so sure about the commitment stuff. If you've never tried it, how can you know you'll not hate it? I'd give them either a shorter period at a time, like a year, and they commit each time, or they can do 5 sessions or something, and then commit to the six years. Otherwise, they might be afraid to try new stuff in case they get stuck with something they hate.

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Good point. I didn't hear any explanation of why six years -- which seems like a long time, especially if it turns out that something really isn't agreeable. A trial period, then you commit would also be a good approach. You don't want them scared to try stuff, but you do want to balance that with some sense of responsibility.