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ningen doc
Jun. 5th, 2007 10:48 amWell, that's over for another year. Sometimes people assure me that ningen doc is English, and I have to tell them that it isn't quite. Ningen is Japanese, meaning people or person. Doc is the fun one. I suspect it is borrowed from dock, dry dock and such for a ship. What they really are talking about is the annual physical checkup which almost all Japanese get.
I've been told this is a requirement by the health insurance, which is national. In any case, it is something that everyone does.
If you are in a company, it is probably a two-day stay at a center that does these. You'll get a tailored dinner and stay in a small hotel room. Wander around in a blue robe that makes it easy for the doctors to poke and prod.
Here at the university, it is a quick morning ordeal. This morning was the male faculty, while I think the afternoon is female faculty. Then the next two days are the students. And it's kind of an assembly line.
Go in, stand in line, weight and height, blood pressure, blood sample, eye check. Around the corner to pick up a paper cup and a strip, into the bathroom to pee in the cup, dip the strip, and discard the extra liquid, then back out to let the attendant look at the colors on the strip. Now around the corner for EKG, doctor listens to your lungs and watches you swallow, turn in your velcro strip that held the wad of cotton from the blood sample, and sit down to the hearing check. You do know you are starting to lose the high tones, right? Okay, outside for chest X-ray.
Here, take off your shirt, now lean here, spread your elbows a bit more, hold your breath. Bzzz. Thanks, now next door for barium.
(oh, oh, this is not my favorite).
Take off your shirt, pants - and your glasses, please. Now, swallow this and drink this water. (The powder fizzes as soon as it hits your mouth, but you choke most of it down). Now drink this straight down. (One BIG gulp of thick white bland.) And over here. Stand on the platform and lean forward.
The attendant leaves, the door shuts, and the voice says, "Good." The gadget tilts forward, with you laying on it. "Now turn right." "No, the other way." "All the way over and . . . hold your breath." "Now relax. Turn to the right again. No, the other way. All the way over." "Face up." Turn a little left." "Hold your breath." "Relax." And after several minutes of rolling turning while the fizzy stuff threatens to give you a giant burp, "Thank you. That's all."
The attendant hands you four brown pills. "You should probably take two now, and then if you need to, take the other two this evening."
And suddenly you're back out on the sidewalk. Now you can go home and get breakfast, and get back to work. Of course, everyone looks a bit tousled from going through this together this morning.
And that's the ningen doc.
I've been told this is a requirement by the health insurance, which is national. In any case, it is something that everyone does.
If you are in a company, it is probably a two-day stay at a center that does these. You'll get a tailored dinner and stay in a small hotel room. Wander around in a blue robe that makes it easy for the doctors to poke and prod.
Here at the university, it is a quick morning ordeal. This morning was the male faculty, while I think the afternoon is female faculty. Then the next two days are the students. And it's kind of an assembly line.
Go in, stand in line, weight and height, blood pressure, blood sample, eye check. Around the corner to pick up a paper cup and a strip, into the bathroom to pee in the cup, dip the strip, and discard the extra liquid, then back out to let the attendant look at the colors on the strip. Now around the corner for EKG, doctor listens to your lungs and watches you swallow, turn in your velcro strip that held the wad of cotton from the blood sample, and sit down to the hearing check. You do know you are starting to lose the high tones, right? Okay, outside for chest X-ray.
Here, take off your shirt, now lean here, spread your elbows a bit more, hold your breath. Bzzz. Thanks, now next door for barium.
(oh, oh, this is not my favorite).
Take off your shirt, pants - and your glasses, please. Now, swallow this and drink this water. (The powder fizzes as soon as it hits your mouth, but you choke most of it down). Now drink this straight down. (One BIG gulp of thick white bland.) And over here. Stand on the platform and lean forward.
The attendant leaves, the door shuts, and the voice says, "Good." The gadget tilts forward, with you laying on it. "Now turn right." "No, the other way." "All the way over and . . . hold your breath." "Now relax. Turn to the right again. No, the other way. All the way over." "Face up." Turn a little left." "Hold your breath." "Relax." And after several minutes of rolling turning while the fizzy stuff threatens to give you a giant burp, "Thank you. That's all."
The attendant hands you four brown pills. "You should probably take two now, and then if you need to, take the other two this evening."
And suddenly you're back out on the sidewalk. Now you can go home and get breakfast, and get back to work. Of course, everyone looks a bit tousled from going through this together this morning.
And that's the ningen doc.
