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Confessions of an Occasional Santa Claus
Dec. 26th, 2006 01:55 pmJust in case you haven't tried this, imagine for a moment that you've hidden in a back room as you donned the requisite red costume, put on the black boots, put the black belt around your waist, and carefully rigged the stretch threads over your ears and above to hold the white beard and mustache in place. Then tacked down the top decorations with a red hat, peaked with a white bobble at the tip.
Lift up the bag, bulging with boxes (empty, though, so it isn't very heavy). And grab the bells in one hand.
And then comes the moment. Ring the bells outside the door, and hear the children cry out inside. And someone throws the door wide and you dash inside, saying loudly, "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" And don't forget to stretch that merry so that it is more mahry since that is how the Japanese pronounce it. The lights are off, but the spotlights hit you as you stride to the middle of the room, calling out again. And then up front, where the person running things introduces you and asks if anyone has questions for Santa.
And this time around, the kids have interesting questions, as usual. Last year they wanted to know why Santa's suit was red, and why his boots were black, and where are you going next? This year, they wanted to know where he lives and how old he is.
This is done in the blindness of spotlights, along with the irritation of inhaling fake beard. Not perhaps the best environment for thoughtful responses. And in Japanese, which adds a twist to answering!
Why is Santa's suit red? Because Jesus is a little baby, and we're celebrating his birth. This gets a good laugh, because the word for baby in Japanese literally means red child.
Why are Santa's boots black? So I can see them in the snow. This seems to puzzle everyone, including me, since I can't think of a good reason for the boots to have any particular color.
Where is Santa going next? Australia!
Where does Santa live? Where do you think? Greenland? No, farther north. Finland? No, all the way north.
How old is Santa? (Scratching beard) I forgot!
And then the request for a message. This year, the message is simple, since the master of ceremonies seems to be rushing things. All of you, please enjoy your family and have a very Merry Christmas.
And then Santa Claus rushes out, ringing bells and calling out, "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!"
Then, of course, it is time to take off the Santa Claus outfit, fold it up and put it away.
And step out of the back room to a gaggle of kids who accuse me of being Santa Claus, and don't seem the least bit convinced by my asking where he is.
But it's a lot of fun!
Merry Christmas to all!
Lift up the bag, bulging with boxes (empty, though, so it isn't very heavy). And grab the bells in one hand.
And then comes the moment. Ring the bells outside the door, and hear the children cry out inside. And someone throws the door wide and you dash inside, saying loudly, "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" And don't forget to stretch that merry so that it is more mahry since that is how the Japanese pronounce it. The lights are off, but the spotlights hit you as you stride to the middle of the room, calling out again. And then up front, where the person running things introduces you and asks if anyone has questions for Santa.
And this time around, the kids have interesting questions, as usual. Last year they wanted to know why Santa's suit was red, and why his boots were black, and where are you going next? This year, they wanted to know where he lives and how old he is.
This is done in the blindness of spotlights, along with the irritation of inhaling fake beard. Not perhaps the best environment for thoughtful responses. And in Japanese, which adds a twist to answering!
Why is Santa's suit red? Because Jesus is a little baby, and we're celebrating his birth. This gets a good laugh, because the word for baby in Japanese literally means red child.
Why are Santa's boots black? So I can see them in the snow. This seems to puzzle everyone, including me, since I can't think of a good reason for the boots to have any particular color.
Where is Santa going next? Australia!
Where does Santa live? Where do you think? Greenland? No, farther north. Finland? No, all the way north.
How old is Santa? (Scratching beard) I forgot!
And then the request for a message. This year, the message is simple, since the master of ceremonies seems to be rushing things. All of you, please enjoy your family and have a very Merry Christmas.
And then Santa Claus rushes out, ringing bells and calling out, "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!"
Then, of course, it is time to take off the Santa Claus outfit, fold it up and put it away.
And step out of the back room to a gaggle of kids who accuse me of being Santa Claus, and don't seem the least bit convinced by my asking where he is.
But it's a lot of fun!
Merry Christmas to all!
