Survival Japanese (aka where's the dunny, john, or toilet, anyway?)

Here's a quick guide to some key points, such as figuring out which door you want:

a. Polite way to ask where the toilets are: O TEH AH RYE WA DOKO DESUKA. Or even just O TEH AH RYE WA will usually get directions. Rubbing your hands as if washing them sometimes helps, since this is really the question for where can I wash my hands (although everyone knows you are asking for a toilet).

(for the Japanese students -- お手洗いは何所ですか。おてあらいはどこですか。）

b. Men: Often the BLUE sign, with 男 (remember a flyswatter over a running man). Sometimes a figure with legs or similar icon. If the restaurant is too cutesy, you may find artistic swirls or something - I have had to ask, and in such restaurants, the waiters are usually happy to help.

c. Women: Often the PINK or RED sign, with 女(remember a folding chair for sitting down). Sometimes a figure with skirt or some such icon. Again, cutesy restaurants may make this hard to figure out, just ask.

d. Like Europe, cleaning people may be in the bathroom (or wander in) while you are using it. Just ignore them politely.

e. Japanese style toilets - fairly often you will be faced with what amounts to a porcelain trench. You can poke around and see if there is a Western style toilet available, or just squat. Good luck.

Look for the toto labels! You're not in Kansas anymore.

How do you hand out business cards in Japan?

[this question came up in regard to WorldCon, which will be in Tokyo in September.]

Hum, okay, let me give it a shot.

The full formal business card (meshi) procedure goes something like this:

First, someone who knows you introduces you. In very formal circumstances, you do not introduce yourself. The go between will say something and usually bow out quickly. But in many cases, you can introduce yourself. In fact, if you see someone getting a business card out, they are probably going to introduce themselves, so you might as well get ready.

Second, each of you gets one (1!) business card out. I have a little holder which makes it relatively easy to get one out. Having a stack of cards in your hand and thumbing one off the top is not acceptable. Get one out and put the rest in your pocket. The best cards have English on one side and Japanese on the other, but they do understand if you aren't prepared.

Hold the top corners so that they can see the card. Present it to them with a small bow. Almost like an old-time butler with a tiny tray?

The set phrase at this point is "Hajimemashita. Nara Sentan no Barker to moshimasu. Douzo yoroshiku." Which loosely translates to "It begins. Group, then personal name, please call me. Please be kind to me." It is really important to remember that your group membership is more important than your personal name in Japan. Oh, and you will be known mostly by your family name.

There's a subtle point here about who offers their card first. Generally, the lower status person offers first. Being the visitor, you are probably going to be higher status. But there are advantages to being the host of the guest, so there is sometimes some jockeying to see who "wins" by being more humble than the other person. Probably not worth trying to play that game, but watch the Japanese playing it. I usually lose, they insist that I must be higher status than they are, but sometimes I get to play along. Remember that being higher status in Japan means you have obligations to the lower status. For example, while the lower status worker often orders the food in the restaurant, the higher status boss often takes care of the bill. So who won?

Third, hand them your card. Take their card (bottom corners) and hold it so you can see it. If you can comment on some connection, that's good! For example, if you know someone else from that school, area, or in that business, this is often a time to mention that and start building connections. But take a moment to study the card. If nothing else, make sure you get their name, because you will be expected to know it from now on. They know foreigners often forget names, but the polite fiction is that once you are introduced, you will never need to ask for their name again.

You may be surprised when they comment about some connection they know about America - I've had people tell me about a homestay that they did some years before. They are going to try to establish some relationship between you and them.
Fourth, as someone said, you don't scribble on their card, don't slide it into your hip pocket, don't mistreat it. The common practice is to handle it carefully, and often to arrange them on the table in front of you during a meeting. But it represents the person, so don't abuse it.

Now, that's the full formal thing. With bows, quiet phrases, and all. And the thing is that most Japanese are quite willing to relax. So I'd say the key parts you should try to get right are handing out one card and treating their card with respect. Think about the self-introduction, too - they are probably going to provide their company and name (hum, not quite sure whether being at the con is going to affect that - normally you provide the group membership that is important to the context).

Something like, "I am pleased to meet you. My name is Mike Barker from Nara Institute of Science and Technology. I look forward to talking with you." might be reasonably appropriate. Maybe those of you with books could say something like "I am pleased to meet you. My name is Mark Van Name, and I wrote One Jump Ahead. I look forward to talking with you." (Darn, that final yoroshiku is hard to translate. It's a formal phrase that hopes that the relationship will continue and grow.). Simple English, talk a bit slow, and you may need to repeat your name to help them hear it.

Some things not to do. Don't go into arm slapping and handshaking. If they want to try a handshake, go ahead and take it, but don't be too surprised if you get a limp hand, and don't play knucklecrusher. Probably not the right time for the jokes, either. Save them for drinking.

Although - see, you may run into a Japanese who is trying hard to do American style meet-and-greet? And then all bets are off. I've been backslapped and high-fived.